Couple-Care is a monthly series highlighting inspiring couples in our community. Each couple discusses how “couple-care” sustains their relationship, the self-care lessons they’ve learned from each other and more.
Long distance describes their location, not their love. “I moved to New York to go to FIT to study fashion business. I haven’t left and it’s been 10 years,” Atlanta-born Kiana Brooks tells ESSENCE.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the country, her girlfriend Nia Mariah calls Los Angeles home. “I was in Boston for five years finishing school, and then before that Maryland and New York. Now I live in Los Angeles for work,” she says.
Despite never living in the same city, nearly 3,000 miles between them still isn’t enough to keep them apart. “I was visiting a mutual friend and we met through sitting on the couch at her apartment,” Kiana recalls. Two years later, “Nia told me she wanted me to ask her to be my girlfriend,” she says. So, naturally, Kiana asked her on a date night in Paris.
Since then, they’ve been visiting each other in both NY and LA every month for the past year (if they’re not on a European vacation). “We definitely don’t go more than a month without seeing each other,” Nia says. “We’re inseparable,” Kiana replies. “Attached at the hip.”
Below, the couple opens up to ESSENCE about their favorite couple-care memory, the lessons they’ve learned, and what being in love looks like for them.
What Couple-Care Means To Them
Kiana: Coming into this relationship, the timing was so right for me. We were both very present and intentional. In our dating choices and how we were moving and forthcoming about our feelings toward each other, there wasn’t a lot of games, it was very intentional. Couple-Care for us is maintaining that, and growing authentically toward our future. We’re so aligned on what we want in life and what we want our life to look like. We’re open-minded to how we get there and show up for each other in a way that is going to keep us on track and make sure we’re being as genuine to our emotions as possible.
Nia: I think the same thing for me. It’s just making sure all of our needs are met and making sure she has what she needs to be successful. We’re very supportive towards each other and what we want to do. It’s always ‘let’s figure it out together’ and I think that’s a big part of the fun that we have together too.
Their Favorite Couple-Care Memory
Kiana: We randomly got into this habit of taking staycations and we do it very regularly. It’s been nice, when the other person is visiting, to feel like we have an escape or a moment to really just center ourselves and to just have a moment to be away from our home and enjoy the moment. We always end up having hour-long conversations and dinner and we get dressed up and it’s just really nice. We’re very spontaneous, and I do think that that’s something that underlines how much fun we have.
Nia: We went to London a few months ago. The weather was bad, so we decided to explore a farm in northern England and we drove there. We experienced trying to drive on the opposite side of the road to get there together. It was the middle of nowhere. We did two nights at the farmhouse and rode horses and we just talked. It was just like we were in the middle of absolutely nowhere and just got to reconnect and stay grounded again in a relationship.
Their Individual Self-Care Routines
Nia: Since I’ve moved to LA, I’m more active. I like to hike, I like to work out, hang out with friends, join clubs. I’ve done it all. Everything. I’ve tried to play tennis, join run clubs, hike clubs, and even fishing. Pacific Town Club is my overall thing. I love to do anything that they do, but just really being outdoors and hanging with my friends are the best self-care moments for me out here.
Kiana: I’m slightly more high maintenance when it comes to self-care and a little bit more indoor. I’m more like I want a spa day, I want to meditate for a while. I want to journal and just need to rest type of thing. Also, reading. I’ve been starting my own little book club. I’ll just sit on my couch and just read a book, start to finish. Even in transit when I’m reading that is kind of a way to disconnect and just recharge. If I don’t like the book I’m reading, I’m upset. It alters my emotions for the day. So I feel that also does contribute to self-care.
Their Couple-Care Routine
Kiana: She does my hair, which is actually really nice and a really big perk of being in our relationship and the intentionality of having date nights is definitely a thing for us. Even if it’s not a staycation, whenever we’re together for a long period of time, we try to have our routine be normal. We evolved from when we first started dating, from feeling like, ‘oh, you’re going on vacation to visit the other person’ to now it’s like, ‘no, when I’m in LA we’re just living our routine.’ Let’s sit and tell each other how much we love each other and hold hands.
Nia: When we travel, we do have little things that we like to get each other. We have this thing where when we go to Paris, we’ll stop at the store and get each other an item. It started when she asked me to be her girlfriend. She had gotten me this comb that I really wanted. Now, we get each other’s soaps and teas, it’s not even gifting necessarily, we’ll just give it to each other for an occasion. It’s just little things to say ‘oh, I was thinking of you.’
The Self-Care Lessons They’ve Learned From Each Other
Nia: Kiana is definitely teaching me how to get better with my makeup. That is one thing I struggle a little bit with understanding the steps and the process and why you’re supposed to do each thing a certain way. I have to keep up with Kiana. She dresses to the nines at all times, to the grocery store and wherever she feels like going.
Kiana: Nia has a way better skincare routine and then I’m better with makeup. That’s where we’re balanced. Nia will be drunk and get back in the house at 3:00 AM and she’s in the bathroom pin curling her hair and doing a 10-step skincare routine. Whereas, I’m going to bed with my makeup on, but I spent a while putting my makeup on, so I’m more attached.
The Products They’ve Introduced to Each Other
Kiana: She has me hooked on Buly body oil . That’s our cult product now. We’re obsessed and we get it every time we go. And, I make a cup of Mariage tea every morning.
Nia: I’ve introduced you to better matcha, one thousand percent.
Kiana: The very first time I came to LA, the first stop that morning, she was like, ‘okay, we’re going to get matcha.’ I thought I loved matcha before I went to LA, but she took me to Camel Matcha and genuinely life changing. I remember I chugged it and had it, it was so embarrassing because I literally drank it 30 seconds. And she was like, ‘are you okay?’ Now, she brings it for me every time she comes and picks me up from the airport.
Credits:
Photographer & Stylist: Tyler Okuns
Kiana wears: Ami top and a HYKE pants; COS top and shorts/bottoms; Zankov
Nia wears: AnOnlyChild jacket and shorts; The Frankie Shop top and shorts; AKNVAS