We’ve all been there; you might’ve met a person you were attracted to and felt a deep connection with, but passed them by and didn’t think anything of it until years later when they magically reappeared.
According to TikTok’s viral and spiritual theory, “The Invisible String Theory,” the occurrence wasn’t magic but fate. The “Invisible String Theory” is a belief that suggests we all have a powerful yet unseen connection to a person, particularly romantic partners before we even meet them. While it’s not a scientific theory, it’s a spiritual concept reminiscent of the “Red String Theory,” an ideology rooted in East Asian folklore, including Chinese and Japanese mythology, that describes an invisible red thread connecting two people who are destined to meet and be together. “The Invisible String Theory” is the idea that you may be linked by an invisible string, regardless of distance or circumstances, and that the meeting is inevitable, rooted in fate, and no matter what happens, they will eventually find their way to each other. How romantic, in theory?
I know what you’re thinking: ‘Are you sure, sis?’ I’m still single, and the dating pool is looking real bad,’ and while I was skeptical at first, too, I do believe the theory is real. Still, I think the theory has more to do with us than a romantic connection, as it shows us the power of being open to what the universe is trying to show us and provide for us. The cute person you saw at the coffee shop and exchanged flirtatious glances with, or your successful next-door neighbor who was waiting for you to speak with them, could be the one down the line, or maybe not. While the theory emphasizes the concepts of fate and having a soulmate, we should also reframe the theory to encourage trusting ourselves and inviting intimate experiences into our lives.
While we enjoy seeing the sweet and heartwarming “Invisible String Theory” examples on TikTok, where users share their love stories of meeting several years ago at a party or noticing their current partner in old pictures before they’ve ever formally met, the “Invisible String Theory” can also be applied to the lovers who may be in a situationship or broken up but can’t seem to stop thinking about the person and the impact they’ve made on their lives. Rikki Clark McCoy, founder of Flourishing Minds LLC and a certified holistic therapist, believes that the concept is genuine and has sat with countless clients who describe an unshakable connection to someone—an ex, a friend, a past version of themselves. They often use words like magnetic, fated, karmic, and soul tie.
She sees the “Invisible String Theory” as a kind of soulful affirmation. It’s like a gentle nudge from the universe that there is something meaningful in the connection. As a therapist who integrates both evidence-based practices and holistic healing, she views this theory as more than just a metaphor, having witnessed how deeply people can feel connected to others across time, distance, and even after a relationship has ended. That emotional, energetic, or spiritual “thread” often feels real because it taps into something profound: attachment, memory, longing, unfinished business.
Although she believes that theory is real, and while spiritually it can bring some comfort to know that you’re never alone, we should also not overdramatize and romanticize this theory, but also hold space for the other side of it—a karmic connection. “While this theory helps make sense of why someone keeps showing up in your dreams or why a stranger feels instantly familiar. Energetically, it speaks to soul contracts and karmic lessons. Psychologically? It can be attachment wounds playing out in real-time. It can be trauma bonds disguised as ‘meant to be,’” she suggests.
McCoy continues, “I believe some connections teach us, stretch us, and mirror back what we most need to heal. In that way, the ‘Invisible String Theory’ can represent soul contracts, karmic ties, or emotional bonds that are part of our growth.” However, the truth is that some strings are meant to stretch us, not stay tied forever. In McCoy’s practice, she holds space for both the sacred and the somatic. “I believe in honoring the connection and your healing. And sometimes, healing requires us to lovingly, intentionally cut the cord.”
It’s important to ground this theory in the reality of the nervous system and previous relationship trauma. “Sometimes what feels like fate is familiarity. What feels like a deep connection might be a trauma bond. What we interpret as “meant to be” might be our subconscious recreating an old wound in hopes of finally healing it,” she says. While we should still strive to appreciate the beauty of unrequited love, soulmates, divine intervention, and the power of connection, it’s imperative to ground ourselves in discernment, boundaries, and the importance of letting go when a bond no longer serves your healing. “You can honor what the connection meant and decide it’s time to cut the cord. Healing often means releasing with love, not because the thread wasn’t real, but because your peace is,” McCoy says.
So, how do you know when it’s time to let go of an expired string or connection?
- When you’re more anxious than at ease.
- When the relationship feels like a loop, not a ladder.
- When you’re holding on out of fear, not alignment
But how do you sever the connection from an expired connection? Of course, therapy helps, but so does having rituals. McCoy suggests, “Writing a letter you never send and breathing deeply into the grief. Imagine yourself holding scissors and severing the energetic thread. Reclaim your energy, and call it back. Choose you. You’re not breaking a bond. You’re breaking free.”